High/Low Jersey Cardigan

I love my Bobeau Long Cardigan. I stopped shopping when I got my diagnosis of cancer in the spring. Two days before my diagnosis I had been in Nordstroms, with my sister who was visiting from a town that is sadly is very far from a Nordstroms. My mysterious symptoms kept me from trying anything on or even feeling like shopping.  Finally, when my doctors figured out what was going on with me my whole world turned upside down and inside out. I had a stage IIIC cancer and the statistical odds were not in my favor.  I would need chemotherapy followed by major surgery followed my more chemotherapy. Wait, my children are too young for me to die! I would lose my five feet of hair. I would face not knowing how long I may live. Doing everything I could to assure staying alive became my preoccupation along with grieving the loss of my old life with its everyday pleasures and simple things like enjoying a day out with my sister and my daughter at one of our favorite places - Nordstroms ... not only because they have the best shoe department ever, and have been the ONLY place my svelte teen can find jeans that fit ... but because it has been my go-to place since the 1980s. We have a long history together me and Nordstroms. Back to the jacket. Most people have responded to my caner with flowers, food and the latest fad in medit-tainment, adult coloring books. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, especially considering that my favorite pajamas seem to always come from Nordstroms, along with all my bras (its the great fitting they offer).  Imagine my shock when a friend and her mother sent me a gift that came in a Nordstrom box!  I expected to find a robe or “sick-wear” which truthfully would have been ok. I open the box and find a jacket! It is gorgeous. It is soft. It fits perfectly! I find a mirror and I see myself and just I cry. I am instantly reminded I am not my cancer. There is life after this diagnosis. I am oddly reminded that I could be among those who live a long life and die from something else. All this from a jacket? As a psychologist I get how this works. Our clothing is our literal protection, but our symbolic identity. Our clothing tells us and the world who we are. In this elegant yet exceeding comfortable jacket I am a professional person worthy of trust and credibility, and when I get home I don’t have to rush out of it to get into something more comfortable I am already there. Crying happy in this jacket was maybe the first time since my diagnosis I could look in the mirror and see anything other than the absence of my hair along with the absence of all my dreams and plans. I saw myself looking really good and feeling really good and I smiled? Turtles stay alive because so few creatures can penetrate their shells, some animals have fur that keeps them warm. I have a Nordstrom’s jacket that reminds who I am, and somehow says to the world, I am back, and in the fight against cancer, I win! Dori Pelz-Sherman, PhD, CST-T